Is It Your Man’s Responsibility to Make You Happy?

Is it your man’s responsibility to make you happy? Have you ever thought about this, or do you assume it’s his responsibility?

I am about to pop your bubble now, but everyone is responsible for their happiness. It is your life, and thus happiness is in your court, not his court. Hear me out before you go ballistic on me.

As functioning adults, we are responsible for figuring out what makes us happy and then curating a space with the things, hobbies and people contributing to that happiness. You are responsible for choosing a spouse that will help to add colour to that curated space. Notice I said, ‘add’. In other words, contribute because the only person that can make you happy is you. Have you ever woken up feeling sad or just overwhelmed for no reason? You’re trying to shake the feeling, but you can’t? Or you woke up with haunting thoughts about something you did in the past and started to sink into negative, self-deprecating thoughts about yourself because of something that happened back in high school. People around you try to cheer you up, but they can’t and they can’t because happiness is in your court and if you refuse to be happy, there is nothing others can do about it.

You may say girl, my man makes me happy, so I don’t know what you’re talking about. We are both in the same boat, honey, but I do not place that responsibility on his shoulders. By being in a relationship, we both try to identify the things that put a smile on each other’s faces or to do the things that show that we care and love each other, but I know that outside of that, I need to make myself happy.

I think the minute you start to demand or rely on your spouse solely for your happiness, it puts added unnecessary pressure on the relationship, and then you begin to think that he should move heaven and earth to please you because you are his world without that end.

Happiness is fleeting, and sometimes what makes us happy today won’t make us happy tomorrow. How can we expect him to keep up with our ever-changing endorphin needs? Does this mean you should be in a relationship where you are unhappy because he doesn’t treat you well? Of course not; you should never place yourself in a situation where you’re not feeling seen, heard, cared for, or loved. However, it’s your responsibility to search within yourself for that spark continuously and to fuel your mind and surround yourself with the little trinkets and bits and pieces of life’s greatest blessing that puts a smile on your face.

Happiness is and will always be in your court.